THE SECRET OF SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE (4)
So far, we have seen via God's Word, how to lay a good foundation, fulfilling your responsibilities and dealing treacherously with your wife.
This week, as we conclude the series of this month's teaching, we will be looking at A Woman With a Good Understanding. I will be looking at the story of Abigail in the Bible. God's Word says: Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail; and she was a woman of good understanding...but the man was churlish and evil in his doings... (1 Samuel 25:3). Abigail was a woman of wisdom, a woman with a good understanding.
In Proverbs 14:1, The Bible says: Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. God, in His infinite wisdom, has planned one man for one woman. Every woman in God's design has her own home. What becomes of that home, however, depends on the woman. This appears to be an awesome responsibility, but by the grace of God and hard work, it is accomplishable.
A time came when Abigail's husband was a churlish (bad mannered) husband. He was not a good man and they were definitely unequally yoked. Yet to have lived with him for all the years she did and got along without fighting or becoming like him in character, proved she was a woman of a wise heart. A time came when the husband provoked David. She mediated and saved her entire household and restrained David from avenging himself.
One wise step Abigail took was to adapt to the situation. Become adjusted to your husband's plans, way of life, etc. This does not mean when he is going wrong you leave him or follow his ways. It simply means you should be flexible with his decisions. God's Word says: Married women...adapt yourselves to them... (1 Peter 3:1 (Amp. Bible).
Every woman needs to recognize her Biblical position in her husband's life. When he takes decisions that are different from your plans, see how you can work them out and fit in. Remember that as a believer, all things will work out for good, but you must heed the Lord's instructions.
If he has certain weaknesses that you are strong in, help him; appreciate his good points; point out his mistakes in a kind and gentle way. Understand that you are meant to be a help to your husband. God's Word says: And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him (Genesis 2:18).
"Help" means "to give aid and assistance", while "meet" means "to surround." Therefore, a "help meet" implies one who "surrounds with aid and assistance." God created the woman for the purpose of surrounding her man with aid and assistance. That is, assisting the man to put in place those things that might be missing in his life.
In Genesis 27, we saw how Rebecca failed in her duty as Isaac's help meet, and played an unpleasant role in the incidence of Jacob stealing Esau's blessing.
Isaac was old and so he could not see, because his eyes were dim. Rebecca knew this weakness, but rather than complement him by helping him, she exploited the situation by "assisting" Jacob to steal Esau's blessing.
It was Rebecca that initiated the idea of Jacob stealing Esau's blessing. Even when Jacob noted the loopholes in the plan, Rebecca still convinced Jacob to go ahead. Without her support, Jacob would not have been able to deceive Isaac and steal Esau's blessings. She used her husband's weakness against him and her son.
As a wife, you know things about him that no one else knows. Do not use his weaknesses against him or despise him for his weaknesses and seek opportunities to disgrace him in the public. Rather, as a help meet, you are to surround him with aid and assistance in those identified weak areas.
You are meant to complement each other, by filling up the vacuum in each others' lives. As a wife, you are meant to be a help that is meet. You are created to surround your man with aid and assistance. His life should be better as a result of his association with you. Your contributions in his life should be positive. If the vices he had before you were married keep increasing rather than decreasing, then you're not carrying out your responsibilities in his life.
You are to bring about a positive change in your husband's life. The difference in his life as a result of his marrying you should be glaring for all to see. It is your responsibility to help him attain the greater heights God has prepared for him. Be his helper, not a destroyer. To be a help meet, God's grace is available if you will surrender your life to Christ. This is done by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are set for this, please say this prayer: Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins. Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Savious. Now I know I am born again!
If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and He will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God's Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through:
E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com Tel. No: 234-1-7747546-8;
For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches, and other leading Christian bookstores:
- Single With A Difference,
- Marriage Covenant,
- Making Marriage Work,
- Building a Successful Family,
- The Effective Minister's Wife,
- Success in Marriage (Co-Authored with Bishop David Oyedepo)